It's been a while since I've stayed in a casino hotel in Las Vegas. In fact, we're probably going back to the early noughts, as the casino hosts' memories of my days as a blackjack high-roller decayed, and the comp offers stopped showing up in the mail. Somehow their recollection of my high-rolling outlasted their recollection of my card-counting, but that's their problem, not mine. Honestly, I was willing to pay for hotels at that point – many non-casino hotels are fully non-smoking, a feature that is worth more than dollars to me.
But if the casinos were looking for a way to ensure that I never came back, they couldn't have picked a better means than inventing "resort fees" around 2007-2008. I come here not to excoriate resort fees (there are plenty of places to find such material), but they were the final straw that forever pushed me into the beds of non-casino hotels.
Now, I fully understand that my utility curve is not yours – if you dig the full-on Vegas resort hotel experience, then good on you. I merely offer an alternative perspective.
The underlying principle of my alternative perspective is this:
Any money that I don't spend on a hotel room or food moves directly into the pokerbankroll column of the ledger.
–L. Jones
My utility of increased bankroll swamps that of dinner at Chez Cher or a room in the same building where the poker room is. Now, I'm all about convenience too, so I don't want to stay ten miles from the poker room. But let me give you an example from a recent trip to Sin City. I was going to be playing mostly at the Wynn and Resorts World. After verifying there was no universe in which I was paying their hotel prices, Expedia and I found the Las Vegas Marriott.
Location, Location, Location
I don't mind a walk. In fact, I prefer to be somewhere that forces me to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. The LV Marriott was an entire 0.5 miles from the entrance to the Encore – that's less than ten minutes walk for me. And I note that that half-mile stroll passed both the legendary Tacos El Gordo and the should-be legendary Bagelmania, where I had breakfast three of the four days.
The walk also passed a 7-11. Say what you want, but if you want fresh coffee 24/7, they're tough to beat. And a Walgreen's, which meant my poker protein bars cost $2.50 instead of $4.
A caveat: I wouldn't walk from either Resorts World or Wynn to the Marriott at night. There's a 99.9% chance that nothing bad would happen. But I have security utility too, and one night's resort fee buys 2-3 Ubers between the two properties.
But what about the hotel?
I've been over this before elsewhere, but if I spend a lot of time in my hotel room at a vacation/fun/poker destination, I've grossly misplayed my hand. My hotel room is where I do w*rk, and lay my head down at the end of the day. Or 3:00am if I got badly stuck somewhere. I want the shower hot, the bed comfortable, and the WiFi reliable.
The Marriott gave me all that. Plus there was a refrigerator and full bar in the living room, a separate bedroom (which would be useful if you have a non-pokering spouse/partner/friend), and an in-room safe.
There's a restaurant in the hotel lobby. One morning, I walked down to get coffee because I didn't feel like making it in the room. The hostess brought me a cup of fresh hot coffee, winked at me, and said, "You can pay me when you come back for breakfast." So I gave her the same $5 that that coffee would have cost me at the Wynn, and we were both very much happier.
I was in town for four nights. My all-in hotel costs were over two $1/3 buy-ins less than they'd have been at the Wynn (which was a hair cheaper than any of the Resort World properties).1
Your Mileage May Vary
As I said, my utility is not yours. If you love the whole Vegas experience, and everything about it, then staying at the Wynn or Resorts World may be just the ticket. But I go to Vegas for two reasons: to see friends and play poker.3 Staying in a fancy resort is just not on the list, and if I can convert some corporation's resort fees into a high-equity turn bluff, so much the better.
Notes
- I need to thank my dear friend and poker buddy, Carrie B., for the epiphany of denominating real-world costs and revenues in "buy-in" units.
- There's nothing particularly special about the Las Vegas Marriott. It was a great place to stay, and I'll certainly consider it when I go back. But I have no particular loyalty to any hotel property or chain. That's why travel consolidators (Expedia, Orbitz, etc) are so awesome – you get the best deal (based on your dollar/location/amenities utility) for that trip. Then rinse and repeat for the next trip.
- And to see the Cirque du Soleil show Love. I have three reasons to go to Las Vegas. And the all-you-can-eat sushi. Four. I'll come in again...
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