I fully understand that the Hard Rock people are mining our youthful years for dollars. But I am just as susceptible to loitering before Bootsie Collins' bass as the next music junkie. So somehow it seems appropriate that the casino that Virginia opened in Bristol is a Hard Rock property. You see, country music got its start right here in Bristol. I'll say a lot more about that in a minute.
Geography note: There's a Bristol, Virginia, and a Bristol, Tennessee. Or more correctly, there's one Bristol, which is divided in two by the VA/TN state line, as celebrated in this Geico commercial. Contrary to some of the poker media reporting when the Hard Rock opened, the property is on the Virginia side of the town. I guess the reporters who didn't do their homework were thinking about the Bristol Motor Speedway (home of a major NASCAR stop). However, the Hard Rock's presence a stone's throw from Tennessee (which has no casinos) is not a coincidence.
Bristol is nestled in a valley of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and this area is an ancestral home for me. It was a bit jarring to come here not for homemade cherry pie in Troutdale, or trout fishing in Wilson Creek, but for playing cards. I am of mixed feelings about a casino parked in the shadow of the mountains. But these people gotta eat too, and times are hard for places like this. Maybe the good energy rolling down the mountains will make it all the way here.
The other way to look at it is that you're close to those mountains. If you're looking for a break from the table, jump in the car and head to the Mt. Rogers National Recreation Area, a quick hour from the Hard Rock parking lot. You'll come back with body and soul refreshed.
Could we not just lean into the country music?
As I walked in the front entrance, I was encouraged to see one of John Hartford's banjos prominently displayed. Maybe... nope, got in the door and was blasted with Aerosmith.
Bristol is where country music was born. The Carter Family did their recording here, and were the big bang of everything we think of as country music, and ultimately bluegrass as well. Without Bristol, there is no Nashville.
I did manage to find a picture of Mother Maybelle Carter, the woman who gave birth to the entire genre. It's in Studio 621, a whiskey bar devoted to the studio that was at 621 State Street. That's where the legendary Bristol sessions were recorded.
I'm delighted that they have a bar devoted to those sessions, but Mother Maybelle Carter should be front and center at a Hard Rock property in Bristol, VA.
What if, of all the uncountable Hard Rock properties in the world, they took the one that's where country music started, and completely devote it to country music and its kin?
A casino with a polar range
I always find Hard Rock casinos a bit more uplifting than most. First, they lean into a celebration of music. Since I love music, well, a bunch more than I love poker, they had me at the downbeat. And the "Love all, serve all" mantra you see all over the place helps too. I get that it's all corporate messaging, and it's all designed to earn a dollar. But that's what all companies do – if Hard Rock is going to spread a message of peace, love, and rock 'n roll while they're selling us coffee cups and taking the vig on the roulette wheel, that's a little easier on me.
Did you know that in 2019, David Gilmour sold his guitar (and banjo!) collection via Christies? It raised over $21 million, all of which went to charity. I didn't.
Did you know that Dave Grohl was raised in Springfield, Virginia? I didn't.
This Hard Rock seems to take its place in the community and region seriously. There's a PBS studio on the lower level (you walk past it en route to the poker room). Was that part of their licensing agreement with the state? I don't know or care — I just know that, at the base of the escalator, there's a sweet PBS TV studio that will serve the community and region.
Speaking of the escalator, one evening I came up it onto the 'State Street' restaurant row. There was a really loud 'modern country' song playing. Which is what we would have called 'classic rock,' except the guy singing it is wearing a cowboy hat. As I reached the top of the escalator, I discovered that I had walked into the free line dancing class.
The dancers were having a ton of fun and it leavened the mood of the entire joint. I'm a fan.
On the other hand, there is (forgive me here) near-Orwellian control over entry to the casino area. When you walk in, they ask to scan your ID. If you've ever been in a casino anywhere else in the world, you know this is standard operating procedure. We're just spoiled, if that's the word, by American casinos, most of which let you just cruise on in as long as they're comfortable with your age.
The third or fourth time I went through the gates, the fellow told me that if I'd just take off my baseball cap, I wouldn't need to show my ID – "We use facial recognition to identify you."
Oh, really?
If I had any doubt of that, I was re-entering the poker room (the restrooms are outside the security perimeter). I had removed my hat, and as I passed the podium, the security guy said, "Welcome back, Lee."
Yeesh.
The hotel
I usually don't stay on casino properties. But I got a good rate at the Hard Rock hotel, and the geography is such that it's a schlep from any other property that I'd want to stay at.
Well, I'm a fan. I'll start here:
A real, legit LaVazza espresso machine. If you need to slave over a hot keyboard for a few hours when you'd really rather be five floors down putting bad beats on people, having a delicious lungo (what we Muricans would call an 'Americano') at your side makes a big difference. Yes, there's a fridge, so you can keep your half-and-half in there. Kroger's grocery store is a ten-minute walk out the front door.
There are robes in the closet, nice coat hangers. There's a safe that will hold a laptop — I'll let you find it when you arrive.
The room is comfortable, and because the hotel is just a handful of months old, it's totally up-to-date. There is power for your devices everywhere (including USB-C!). The bed is comfortable, the shower a monster with a Euro-modern wand option. The room has beautiful full-room light ambience controls from both bedside and door.
One minor nitty complaint: there's a motion sensor in the bathroom, so when you walk in, it turns the lights on full. Studies show that if you get up in the middle of the night to pee, it's best not to turn on more lights than you need to get safely to the bathroom. The more your body believes it's night time and dark, the more quickly it will let you back to sleep. This is certainly true for me. I'm all about people getting to and from the bathroom safely, but there are myriad ways to accomplish that without a full-on blast of light.
As I said, I usually stay in non-casino hotels, but when I'm here, I will probably stay at the Hard Rock hotel.
But the poker
First, color me a big fan of a poker room that is completely removed from the rest of the casino, down the escalator, in the no-smoking portion of the casino. It's even in a separate room from the non-smoking casino, so there's no slot noise to make you want to rip out your eardrums.
The room is generously proportioned, and there is ample room for the 14 tables. If it were the Bellagio, there'd be 30 tables in the same space. It was so spacious that a dealer invited one of the player's plus-one to pull a chair behind him. You never see that, and I think it's great for the game – let somebody watch 30 minutes of casino poker and they'll probably want to belly up to the table soon enough ("These players are terrible!").
The room is just turning two months old as I write this, and there are obviously some birthing pains. Many of the dealers are brand new to poker dealing, but fortunately the players are gracious, helpful, and encouraging. I'll say more about this later, but it was interesting and, honestly, kinda fun to be there as the novice dealers were learning the ropes. I may have helped with a side pot or two, but hey, that's our job. And, as Australian poker industry stalwart Michael Josem used to put it, "We're not playing for sheep stations here."
We did have an unfortunate incident that was a collision of an inexperienced dealer and a player who I doubt was familiar with casino poker rules. I was sufficiently conflicted about the correct resolution that I asked about it over on Ask The Org.
Cocktail service was absolutely spectacular. Apparently a couple of servers are assigned to the downstairs area, and it seemed that nobody ever waited for drinks. The servers I had were all pleasant, fast, and helpful in every respect.
When I was there, there were between 3-4 $1/3 games at all times. Thursday evening, a $2/5 game kicked off and was still running at midnight when I left. There was also a mixed $1/3 NLH/PLO game running, and a nearly full-table list for a $2/5 NLH/PLO mix. That way, boys and girls, lies madness. The next thing you know, they'll drop the NLH orbit, and then, well, the guardrails are off.
Y'all come visit
I have ample reason to be in this general area of the country, and the opportunity to spend a day or evening playing cards (e.g. the trout fishing got rained out) will make the visit that much better.
There is much to see in this area. The Virginia highlands – Mt. Rogers and vicinity – are exquisite. There's fast loud cars, and even some wineries. Bristol also hosts a Birthplace of Country Music Museum. I didn't get there, but I won't miss it the next time I'm here.
There's good food, too. I really enjoyed Southern Craft Barbecue, ten minutes from the Hard Rock. I'm not a foodie, but I had a wonderful meal of sides and salad at Vivian's Table, an upscale steak house, just down the block from the museum. Try the purple sweet potato mash. For breakfast, walk out of the casino, turn right and into the shopping center where the Kroger is. The Eggs Up Grill has great breakfasts for half what the same meal will cost you inside the hotel/casino. And you'll be breathing in fresh Blue Ridge air.
And hey, while you're at it, love all, serve all, and save the planet. Please and thank you.
Bristol Hard Rock by the numbers
- 8-max tables. Whoo-hoo! Makes an already comfortable setting even more so.
- Comfortable 5-legged adjustable chairs
- $1/3 $100-$400; $2/5 $300-$1,000
- Rake 10% to $6, plus promotional 10% to $2. This may not be beatable in the long run. But at least in the early days, when many of the players are new and inexperienced, well, it's boom time.
- USB A and C chargers in the tables.
- You can straddle to 2x the BB from any position except the blinds.
- They take a promotional rake even during periods when there are no promotions running, except the $200 royal flush promotion. This seems dodgy.
- There's no rake reduction when the game gets short-handed. This seems, well, unsustainable. I would like to believe that if I come back in six months there will be a different policy.
- They let you run the board twice if all players agree. Great! But they take a full second rake (either $6 or $8, I'm not sure). But at least you have the option. I found myself sitting on 400 BBs in a $1/3 game this afternoon, and the guy on my left had me covered. Had we ended up with 800 BBs in the middle and it was anything like a close race, I probably would have been willing to fade the extra rake.
- The room runs on Bravo – there are screens on both sides of the podium area showing game lists.
For music geeks only
If you're a music geek, keep reading. If not, you can go now.
I checked in, got my key card in the usual little envelope, and came up to my room. Put the key envelope open on the dresser, looked at it again, and started giggling.
Look at the room number, followed by the check-out date. Here I am at a Hard Rock hotel, in the town that is the birthplace of country music. And they've even taught me the chords to Louie Louie right on my key card envelope.