Nick is a cash game player, content creator and part of 888poker’s Stream Team. Each week he shares his thoughts and experiences as a player dedicated to the daily grind. This week he tries to deal with two brutal sessions, streamed for everyone else's entertainment.
Last week, I tentatively suggested that I might have made some progress with my game over the last few years, and I was beginning to notice some improvements that were pleasing enough to share. However, poker can be a cruel game, and, in a rather twisted, if not totally predictable, turn of events, I’ve since had two of the worst sessions of my life at my highest stake.
As I sit down to write this, I’m fresh off streaming the most recent of these debacles, where pretty much everything that could go wrong did go wrong. These sessions can obviously happen, but some certainly feel worse than others.
Last week I played a session where I lost nearly five buy-ins at 100NL, almost purely through preflop all-ins. While this is obviously frustrating, it’s not really a reflection of me as a player. I get easily frustrated, as many of you will know, and the most annoyed I get is when things go wrong that are out of my control. I’m not sure if that’s down to my personality and hating to lose, or whether there’s some form of entitlement tilt at work where I feel I should be winning given that I’m feeling (or at least was feeling) somewhat positive about my recent performances.
But this most recent session was hideous. Not only did I lose pretty much every time I put my chips in the pot, but I also had no idea if I was making significant errors in doing so. Juggling losing at your highest stake, combined with the feeling that it’s quite likely your fault, is tough. Not to mention that this is all going on while I’m streaming to an audience that I’m conscious I need to entertain.
Dealing with the downswings
Still, I feel incredibly fortunate to be in a position where I am able to stream and play poker for a living, and sessions like this are part and parcel of the job. However, that certainly doesn’t stop me from feeling down when I’m having a bad day. The bigger picture certainly helps when attempting to process brutal sessions, but I still find it next-to-impossible to avoid the anger and tilt that a lot of other players inevitably experience.
Having said that, I was actually managing my mentality quite well over the course of the stream. I know that if I’m not able to control my emotions effectively, then I’m going to be sacrificing a large amount of EV over the course of a session, and that can really add up at 100NL. I had called with bluff-catchers and lost, called with great hands and lost, bluffed and lost and been coolered multiple times, and while I was visibly frustrated, I was hanging in there.
That was until right at the death, as I was preparing to wrap up my session. A recreational player in the hijack opened, and I three-bet 
in the cutoff to $9. The flop was 
and after a check from my opponent, I went for a small bet of around $5. This was met with a check-raise from my opponent to $18, which filled me with a sense of dread due to the board being so dry and favourable to my range and the heavy losses I had already sustained.
I called, and the turn was the 
bringing a backdoor flush draw, with my opponent tanking before firing out $22. I felt my only option was to call. The river was the 
and my opponent shoved for $70. Given that this was an aggressive, weaker player, I felt it was possible they could be value betting the same hand, or hopefully bluffing at least some of the time (not that bluffing seems very popular these days).
I flicked in the money, hoping for the best and expecting the worst. To say we got the worst would be an understatement. My opponent showed 
that had a solid 2%~ equity on the flop. It’s safe to say this one tipped me over the edge, and it was time to shut things down for the day.
I suppose, on reflection, I’d say with some confidence that you’re never as good as you think you are when you’re feeling your best, and never as bad as you think you are when you’re feeling your worst. This game can bring out all sorts of emotions, and regardless of which end of the spectrum you find yourself on right now, the reality is probably somewhere in the middle.
At least that’s what's going to help me sleep tonight.
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Additional image courtesy of 888poker
